This will be a little cryptic. Sorry about that.
Today, I had to go somewhere and stand for....I don't know.....5 minutes. This was after some walking. Grace didn't want me to do it. She is against all exertion until after I see the endocrinologist.
Oh yeah, did I tell you? They think I have hyperthyroidism. Kate told me and I laughed. People with myeloma experience weight loss. Not me. People with anemia experience weight loss. not me. People on chemo experience weight loss. Not me. People with hyperthyroidism experience weight loss. Not me. It makes me wonder...if I didn't have these medical problems....would I be 500 pounds????
My oncology team says it's unrelated to the cancer; the chemo, or the transplant. So, why? How? Who knows. But it means that most of the time I shake. People who know me are saying right now "But you've always had a tremor". Yeah, but this is ridiculous. I shake all over and have vertigo. If they are right, they think a specialist can solve it either with medication or radiating my thyroid (which sounds awful). But I can't wait for them to fix it. People are always looking at me. Telling me to slow down. Or calm down. But it's not nerves or upset, it's just minor exertion that brings it on.
So I go. Luckily I wasn't alone. My Frankie and my good friend Bette took me. I can't drive anymore.
Jen & Grace had to go to the funeral of our cousin's grandmother, which is actually where I should have been.
It was sooooo embarrassing. I nearly collapsed. The trembling was so bad. Then the room got all murky and shaky. People came up to me, helped me to my seat. Gave me water - which was a great idea, lol. And I was able to pull myself together a little.
Frankie & Bette made me laugh afterwards. I am so grateful for their support.
Should I have gone? Was Grace right?
A great man once said "Never give up. Never give in." Some things matter.
3 years ago